being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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