no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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