we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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