so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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