She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize