Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
