I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
