my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
