Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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