i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
