We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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