I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize