when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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