I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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