it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have fence marks all over my body
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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