TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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