How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
