somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize