Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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