Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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