the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Randomize
