The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
high people should be assigned attendants
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
