Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
