READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
