Plan B is the new Plan A
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
