I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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