Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry my hands just texted you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
