everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
