I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
