It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
