She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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