Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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