I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
