I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
