Whod you bang
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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