Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
