in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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