her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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