I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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