see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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