i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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