I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
