And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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