its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
