I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
