just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
