I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize