Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
