i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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