Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
God, I missed his penis.
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