Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
