I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
