Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
