we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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