my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
