who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
