I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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