he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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