guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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