you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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