Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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