I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
