I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize