just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
