Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
