you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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