I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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