The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
